My kids eat with the ferocity of starving wildcats. They sit in the bike trailer or at brunch, entertaining themselves with their own fingers for an hour if they have to. I know I should have no more children because these two spoil me—unless it’s nighttime. Some parents get good-tempered toddlers with healthy appetites and …
I bet you didn’t even know I was hiring. After all, what’s a write-from-home mom like me doing with enough work to merit an assistant? Well, you’re in for a surprise. A month ago, I posted a position that I hired for three times last year, and all of my hires fell apart under the …
I am the 35-year-old mom. I tried the TikTok heatless curls trend and ended up looking like a jet-lagged and malnourished Ursula instead of the curly-haired version of Aphrodite TikTok promised. I am a sucker for viral trends. Don’t judge me for frivolous expenditures on instant coffee and a peel mask for baby soft feet. …
My awareness of the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit was nonexistent until I started spending my days with my nose pressed against the isolettes in which my daughters lived. “I used to be your house,” I would tell them. “And you thought this was a better option?” I have a tumultuous relationship with awareness months. How …
Eighteen-month sleep regression is a thing, and I am one sleepless night away from certain death—or maybe just some perplexing online purchases. I tried to call PayPal customer service while having a staring contest with Vivienne at 2:30 am last night—er, this morning. No one was available to answer my call, so I decided to …
Two adults hold down a beautiful 18 month old little girl, a third stabs her with a hollow needle. They do this dance six times—until the baby is red-faced, tachyapneic, and starting to bruise. They do this until I, her mother, tell them that’s enough. In any other context, you would call this child abuse, …
As it turns out, due to the newborn extension of benefits clause in our United Healthcare policy from 2019, the twins’ NICU bills are to be paid by United. I don’t feel bad for what I said about Blue Cross Blue Shield, though. It is unacceptable that it took over a year for them to …
Is this just what motherhood is like? I wonder. I’m parked in my driveway in my dad’s car. We traded cars since mine had the car seats—two car seats for two babies my parents have so kindly agreed to watch for the day so that I can write. It was a hundred degrees at 8:45 am …
It’s my understanding that there was a point in history when the advent of insurance was good—more specifically, good for babies born prematurely. Before this point, medical interventions or premature babies was largely unexplored, and everything hospitals could do was very expensive—too expensive for most families to afford. Today, Everything hospitals can do is more …
No one told me about mom rage. It just showed up one morning full force. I woke up before the babies so I could do the things I cannot do when they are awake— like drink hot coffee, pee alone, and write. They have a sixth sense, though. They feel my desire to feed my …