I clench my jaw in my sleep.
I’ve known this because I wake up and basically have to pry my mouth open. My jaw is sometimes sore from its overnight isometric workout, but everything was fine. I wasn’t grinding my teeth. I had just been to the dentist—twice!—and she didn’t ask about jaw clenching or teeth grinding.
I wasn’t worried about it, until I woke up one morning last week and I couldn’t open my mouth.
I happened to have a dentist appointment to fill a few pre-natal cavities I had been ignoring for the last two years. (Don’t do this.) I kept the appointment, though only a witch could fill two cavities through the one centimeter opening in my face.
The dentist asked me how I was doing, and I told her I couldn’t open my mouth more than a centimeter.
This was not the first time she had heard this in her career. And like the Hermione Grainger of dentistry, she assessed my bite. She shaved down a previous filling, and gave me her cell phone number to text her updates on whether or not the situation had improved.
The good news is, I can still drink an adequate amount of coffee through this centimeter wide opening, but getting food in there is a different story all together.
Picture this: a crispy (vegan) chik cutlet, dry spice, pickled jalapeños, and vegan may on the fluffiest birch bun. I sit down outside on a beautiful fall day, I open the to go box, I situate the sandwich between my hands, I bring the sandwich to what I believe is my open mouth, and I smash it against my lips.
I ate my Death Valley Chik Sandwich one crumb at a time that day; then I accepted I would be drinking smoothies for the foreseeable future. Which bring me to the actual point of this post.
I made what it possibly the best fall-inspired smoothie on the planet, and I did it by accident.
The day before my jaw stopped working I made this rice milk from the Miomat cookbook:
Organic brown rice
Organic unsweet shredded coconut
Organic hulled sesame seeds
The peel of a large orange
One Cinnamon stick
Per the instructions, I set the Miomat to the soy milk setting, and I waited.
If you still haven’t ordered a Miomat, just do it. Use my coupon code OHHILAURA for $15 off. You will never regret a cup of warm, spiced rice milk—which also happens to make a perfect fall coffee creamer that will impress all your holiday guests.
While I waited, the house filled with the cinnamon and citrus fall vibes, and when I opened that plant milk maker 15 minutes later, I could not resist the rich, frothy, pale orange nectar inside. I poured myself a glass immediately.
I haven’t had egg nog in many years, but the consistency of this spiced riced milk reminded me of the richness of egg nog. I added a quarter teaspoon of maple syrup to my cup, and two teaspoons to the remainder of the batch, which completed the fall vibes I was going for.
The day my jaw stopped working, I found this Oatmeal Pear recipe for a fall smoothie.
It’s rich. It’s sweet. It’s filling. It’s nutritious. It made me rush to the store to buy 17 more pounds of pears. The orange from the milk gives it a little bit of the tanginess that the yogurt from the original recipe would have given it. My kids love it. My parents love it. It’s part of this complete breakfast, and it makes a great dessert.
I left out the vanilla yogurt because I aim to live that dairy free life. And I left out the ginger because I didn’t have it, and I made a few other changes to boost nutritional value and reduce sweetness. My recipe looked more like this:
(1) Pear
(1) Tbsp of almond butter
(1/4) cup of raw oats
Handful of spinach
Half a cup of ice
Spiced Rice Milk and ice to your liking
Cinnamon to taste
Blend full blast in a high powered blender for 20-30 seconds.
Oh. My Gawsh. People. This. Is. Amazing.
You need to make the Spice Oatmeal Pear Smoothie happen.
For those of you still wondering what happened to my jaw, I have TMJ. My dentist adjusted my bite one more time, told me my jaw clenching was creating some problems, and referred me to a specialist.
I can almost open my mouth all the way, but I’m still milking it as an excuse to drink this smoothie every day.