Bedtime has become a four-hour ordeal in our house. Excuse my absence, I’ve been trying to find my voice, my head, and 15 minutes to write something down that’s not bananas, milk, coffee. Motherhood has rendered me void of inspiration like Harper Lee after To Kill a Mockingbird. I’ve spent a long time debating whether the monotony …
Two adults hold down a beautiful 18 month old little girl, a third stabs her with a hollow needle. They do this dance six times—until the baby is red-faced, tachyapneic, and starting to bruise. They do this until I, her mother, tell them that’s enough. In any other context, you would call this child abuse, …
What’s in a name, Shakespeare wrote. While my Margot is still as sweet even when people call her Mar-got or Mar-git, or Margaret, it makes me rage. I thought I chose classic names–not uncommon, but not too popular. I thought my husband was a little ignorant when he said, “you are not naming our kid …
I should have known when the delivery date was five weeks away that the $14, matte, lightweight, compression leggings were not exactly like Lululemon. I should have known they were coming from somewhere far far away with a very different ideal of what compression and lightweight mean. I should have canceled the order, but I …
I’ve been knitting. It’s such a weird hobby to pick up when you have two 18-month olds in the dead of summer. The knitting isn’t the point though, it’s what the knitting has revealed that’s a problem. I will be 35 years old on Friday, and I am pretty sure I have arthritis. When my …
As it turns out, due to the newborn extension of benefits clause in our United Healthcare policy from 2019, the twins’ NICU bills are to be paid by United. I don’t feel bad for what I said about Blue Cross Blue Shield, though. It is unacceptable that it took over a year for them to …
Is this just what motherhood is like? I wonder. I’m parked in my driveway in my dad’s car. We traded cars since mine had the car seats—two car seats for two babies my parents have so kindly agreed to watch for the day so that I can write. It was a hundred degrees at 8:45 am …
I joined a book club this year. I’ve been a nonfiction reader my entire life. It’s not that I don’t love fiction—who doesn’t love fiction? It’s just that fiction feels unproductive. It feels like the equivalent of watching tv. Book club felt productive though. We have monthly meetings by which we have to read our …
It’s my understanding that there was a point in history when the advent of insurance was good—more specifically, good for babies born prematurely. Before this point, medical interventions or premature babies was largely unexplored, and everything hospitals could do was very expensive—too expensive for most families to afford. Today, Everything hospitals can do is more …
No one told me about mom rage. It just showed up one morning full force. I woke up before the babies so I could do the things I cannot do when they are awake— like drink hot coffee, pee alone, and write. They have a sixth sense, though. They feel my desire to feed my …